很多年没有一口气读完一本书了，也听说这本书很久了。终于把它从图书馆借回来，这几天几乎有空的时候就在看这本书，看完我在想，如果十年前读到这本书，我的人生会不会有很大的改变呢？我想会有的，因为我现在就想改变，也对自己的想法更自信一些了。强烈推荐板上年轻的妹纸们去读，特别是对自己的人生有更高期待的妹子，会对你的职业规划和择偶标准有很大启发。 这本书讲了很多关于两性平等，提到mommy war,就是家庭主妇和职业妇女之间的战争，说明美国社会也是和我们一样充满了各种互相看不起。我非常赞同她说的原因，两方都是不够自信，没有安全感，所以打击一方来justify自己的选择。如果你自己内心强大，非常自信自己的选择，不管做哪个选择都应该很坦然，会体谅做另一种选择的人。读过这本书的妹子来讨论一下吧

更新一下：大家不要又歪倒家庭主妇职业妇女之争了，我不该举这个例子。我想讨论的是两性平等

是的，就是因为很难，大家才有这么多共鸣，容易的话这本书就不会这么火了。我们不是要和这种名人比，重要的是和自己比，能不能勇敢地走自己想走的路。

我老公的结论是：主要因为她是犹太人
littlepeanut2012 发表于 4/6/2017 5:02:20 PM [url=http://forums.huaren.us/showtopic.aspx?topicid=2153378&postid=74544248#74544248][/url]

那么多犹太人呢，难道个个都这么成功？我觉得她很重要的是非常清楚自己的目标，所以第一次很快离婚，她后来的老公就很支持她的想法。所以年轻女子择偶重要，也需要自己有能力，老公可以欣赏你

楼主知道为啥职业妇女和家庭妇女总是吵来吵去的吗？

很简单，因为论坛大 boss 希望的啊，不然论坛哪来的流量啊。
就这次来说，事件导火索是一个不知道猴年马月的家庭妇女职业妇女吵架帖莫名其妙又被捞到了首页头条。。。

所以你真的错怪华人大妈了，虽然总有些人没事儿就想吵吵，但是毕竟月经贴吵来吵去这么点儿花样不少人也真的腻了。。。

莫小贝 发表于 4/6/2017 5:08:57 PM [url=http://forums.huaren.us/showtopic.aspx?topicid=2153378&postid=74544299#74544299][/url]

那美国人的mommy war 是怎么回事？只能说人性是相通的

那肯定的，肯定有人想不开啊。我的意思就是，华人上三天两头类似贴特别多，跟坛主引导也有一定关系，所以看看就一笑而过吧。

莫小贝 发表于 4/6/2017 5:13:20 PM [url=http://forums.huaren.us/showtopic.aspx?topicid=2153378&postid=74544326#74544326][/url]

我一般看个题目我就不看了，但我主要是真心想给年轻妹子推荐这本书

[url=http://nypost.com/2017/04/02/is-leaning-in-a-joke-a-scam-or-both/]http://nypost.com/2017/04/02/is-leaning-in-a-joke-a-scam-or-both/[/url]

Women, you lazy bums, you can have it all — if you just work at it. So said Facebook COO Sheryl Sandberg’s seminal book from 2013, “Lean In: Women, Work, and the Will to Lead,” anyway, though the “lazy bums” part was implied.

With chapters like “Sit at the table” and “Don’t leave before you leave,” Sandberg managed the feat of writing a celebrated feminist work that essentially spent 200 pages insulting women to their faces.

In the years since, “lean in” has become a running joke to many, something with which women ironically tag their Instagram selfies. Here I am on a conference call after my toddler puked on me, #leaningin. Or: Here I am wearing uncomfortable shoes to a job interview, #leaning in.

Four years later, Sandberg admits little has changed since her book appeared — at least according to her metric: “We are stuck at less than 6 percent of the Fortune 500 CEO jobs and their equivalent in almost every country in the world,” she told USA Today’s Jessica Guynn. “There were 19 countries run by women when ‘Lean In’ was published. Today there are 11. Congressional numbers have inched up a tiny bit. And so, overall, we are not seeing a major increase in female leadership in any industry or in any government in the world.”

Sandberg is encouraged, however, by “Lean In Circles,” groups of women who get together to espouse Sandberg’s philosophy. If I wrote a hit book and rubes were getting together to promote my brand, I might be similarly encouraged.

Though perhaps I’d feel a twinge of guilt over plumbing eager women’s expendable income to boost my book sales.

Most susceptible to this hustle are previously overachieving women who feel guilty about their muted role at work because they actually prefer to “lean in” at home with their kids.

Sandberg’s marks continue to believe that women are suffering, penalized by men and unable to advance due to the unfortunate accident of their gender.

By all objective measures, women are in a great place in 2017, and it’s getting better all the time. Far more women than men go to college. Women are the primary breadwinners in 40 percent of households with children. In 2007, 90 women served in Congress, described at the time as a “record number” by the CRS Report for Congress. Today there are 104. There have been 50 women senators in the entire history of our country and 21 of them serve currently.

The problem is that it remains in the financial interest of many feminist leaders to keep us worried and feeling like we aren’t achieving enough. If you do think you’re doing OK as a woman in America today, you’re told to check your privilege and try to relate to a woman who is struggling. We end up grasping at straws trying to empathize.

In a USA Today piece this month about what women want, University of Houston political historian Nancy Young said, “My right to vote as an upper-class white woman with multiple college degrees is not in jeopardy but what about a working-class African-American woman or Hispanic woman?” Also not in jeopardy.

But saying that things are going well for women, better than ever before, just doesn’t sell enough books or get women riled up enough to march in the streets. Pretending our rights can be snatched from us at any moment or that women as a group are failing professionally are much more useful in keeping women agitated.

In her book, Sandberg admits that women in America are in a good place but laments that men continue to “run the world.” Her goal is numerical parity — that is, having 50 percent of CEOs and members of Congress and world leaders be women. But that’s a shallow form of equality, and a silly way to judge.

A truly pro-woman, pro-equality stance wouldn’t require a certain number of women be drafted onto various industry boards so snake-oil saleswomen like Sandberg can claim credit. The goal, instead, should be to ensure women have those options and letting them decide for themselves.

There’s just not a lot of evidence that a majority of women want to be senators or CEOs. Some do, of course, but we’re not matching Sandberg’s numbers because lots of women have other priorities — they value things Sandberg doesn’t think they should.

How feminist of them, and how backward of her.
beefcuurtain750 发表于 4/6/2017 5:13:52 PM [url=http://forums.huaren.us/showtopic.aspx?topicid=2153378&postid=74544330#74544330][/url]

it is not about how many people want to be CEOor senator. It is about if we should give in before we are limited, at least it is what I got from the book.

等你lean in完再说这个不迟 我其实觉得妇女解放运动就是对妇女的最大折磨

现在大部分妇女是又要工作又要管家 老公能帮多少呢？大部分都不能均分家务吧 lean in这种要强的女性还不是一把辛酸泪 说的容易做起来难

i机器人 发表于 4/6/2017 5:18:17 PM [url=http://forums.huaren.us/showtopic.aspx?topicid=2153378&postid=74544358#74544358][/url]

所以要看准老公，老公能够承担一半的家务。所以书里强调这个，也强调男性也需要读这本书。我的感觉是社会离真正女性解放还很远。如果你说妇女解放是折磨的话，搁在以前我们恐怕都不能上大学，也没有话语权

看样子你们的理解和我的不一样，我不觉得是鼓励大家都当女强人，有些人适合，有些人不适合。重要的是社会能够让有梦想有职业追求的女性享有和男性一样的社会资源。我觉得是要大家真正的有平等观念需要很多人的努力，不管你是当家庭主妇或职业妇女

how are u limited in today's society?! in today's non muslim society??!

beefcuurtain750 发表于 4/6/2017 5:36:43 PM [url=http://forums.huaren.us/showtopic.aspx?topicid=2153378&postid=74544483#74544483][/url]

天，你真的觉得男性和女性平等了？

没想到大家都这么悲观。也许我是一个比较乐观的人，我一般愿意学习正面的一面。书上说的那种高度我肯定做不到，但是我愿意去学习这种态度，用在我们这种渺小的人物上，更重要的是教育我们的女儿，不要限制自己的梦想，对我们的儿子，让他们知道真正的平等对待他们的爱人

被洗脑的不浅！ 你说说美国现在社会， 到底哪些体制让男女不平等了？！

beefcuurtain750 发表于 4/6/2017 5:48:53 PM [url=http://forums.huaren.us/showtopic.aspx?topicid=2153378&postid=74544548#74544548][/url]

体制当然没有明白地限制，是社会观念，年轻人！

社会概念？？！ 什么社会概念？！ 是你自己keep telling you that you are a sexist victim forever in your life??! 是liberal media keeps telling you that the reason that u are not as successful as you could be is because you have a vagina??!

beefcuurtain750 发表于 4/6/2017 5:59:35 PM [url=http://forums.huaren.us/showtopic.aspx?topicid=2153378&postid=74544633#74544633][/url]

讨论的可以，吵架的请出去。

所以facebook鼓励男人休产假，姑且不谈不谈动机，倒是有些推到社会观念改变的意思，如果孩子这些乱七八糟的事情男女都承担一半，公司也就不会觉得女人请假太多了。

不过可能转而歧视有孩子的员工了，哈哈


月沼 发表于 4/6/2017 6:51:33 PM [url=http://forums.huaren.us/showtopic.aspx?topicid=2153378&postid=74544971#74544971][/url]

真的，如果所有人的观念都是认为孩子家务应该是男女一人一半的话，即使在实际中不那么精确，我们做女人的不仅体力，精神上都会解放好多

你说得这些， 都不是什么社会强加给你的。 你想要学校call the father first？ 你完全可以跟学校说。 你不想为了孩子而请太多假， 这完全是between you and your husband。 你们自己conform to traditional 社会概念，这是你们自己的事。 你如果不请那么多假， 你完全可以干的更好。 这是你和你丈夫自己做的选择，别他妈的怪社会

beefcuurtain750 发表于 4/6/2017 6:57:46 PM [url=http://forums.huaren.us/showtopic.aspx?topicid=2153378&postid=74545002#74545002][/url]

给你一个例子，如果当爸的忙于工作忽视了自己的小孩，大部分人会觉得做爸爸的事业成功就行了，那个爸爸也不会有多少内疚感。如果是妈妈，不说自身时时的内疚自责，外面的指责都让你抬不起头

大家不要又歪倒家庭主妇职业妇女之争了，我不该举这个例子。我想讨论的是两性平等

我觉得楼主偷换概念 上班的妈妈是有选择的 因为本身就是ji是家庭主妇又是职业妇女 双重身份 分分钟辞掉工作 就是家庭主妇 而全职主妇 是单一的身份 是没有选择的 除非你能证明分分钟能找到工作或者自己开公司 现在情况是不管当初多牛 这么多年离开职场 基本没有机会了 所以说是两种选择是偷换概念 因为一个是选择一个不是 没有可比性 没有看不起全职妈妈 只是就是论事
xiaoqiu123 发表于 4/6/2017 7:32:43 PM [url=http://forums.huaren.us/showtopic.aspx?topicid=2153378&postid=74545266#74545266][/url]

在美国，全职妈妈是有选择的。那些ivy league学校毕业的女性有百分之四十几的人选择家庭主妇生活，你说她们没有选择？

数据出处?

zhimahu 发表于 4/6/2017 7:36:53 PM [url=http://forums.huaren.us/showtopic.aspx?topicid=2153378&postid=74545293#74545293][/url]

Lean in 上面说的，她给了出处的，我读到也是很震惊。当然很大一部分是因为老公事业成功

我觉得看这本书不如看飘， 飘的作者是非常女权化的， 我从书中受很多激励。
cocojj 发表于 4/6/2017 7:44:36 PM [url=http://forums.huaren.us/showtopic.aspx?topicid=2153378&postid=74545354#74545354][/url]

以前看过中文的，那时年纪小，什么时候再看一遍，应该感受不同了

又要偷换概念了 我们说的主妇群 和你说的主妇群是一群人吗？我们身边的主妇群有0.01%是ivy league出来的吗？就算是你说的美国主妇一旦在家10几二十年 也是没有了选择了 不管当初是什么学校出来的 而上班的妈妈哪怕她是国内三四流学校出来的 她也有选择但回家还是会完家去上班 上完班回家
xiaoqiu123 发表于 4/6/2017 8:00:08 PM [url=http://forums.huaren.us/showtopic.aspx?topicid=2153378&postid=74545464#74545464][/url]

请不要纠结于家庭主妇了。我们想讨论的是两性平等。如果有一天大家看到女人在外CEO男人在家带孩子不觉得有任何异样就差不多了

只是correlation ，又不是因果关系。老公收入高低应该是直接原因吧。

yshe 发表于 4/6/2017 8:07:56 PM [url=http://forums.huaren.us/showtopic.aspx?topicid=2153378&postid=74545527#74545527][/url]

应该是，我是回答上面那位说家庭主妇是没有选择的