You need to be strong..Not being with him may be a good thing when you look back years from now. But now, first you need to take good care of yourself, try not to think about him and how bad your situation is. Take one day at a time and as long as you pass this difficult time, things will get better. Don't think the worst and with time you will feel the pain less and less. Just be good to yourself and he is not worth any of your sacrifice.