10 qualities that constitute wife material (according to men)

I want to be clear that this is not about being a good person. It’s about what is marriage-material attractive to men as far as romantic relationships go.

Here’s a summary of what the men I interviewed said…

1. She’s doesn’t need me in any way. She wants me. That’s wife material. There’s nothing more attractive than a woman who isn’t afraid of being alone.

2. She lets me chase her instead of chasing me and questioning my every move.

3. She isn’t emasculating. And she feels comfortable being vulnerable with me. We support one each other.

4. Even though I’m not exactly where I want to be in life, she can tell that I’m right where I need to be as far as emotional intelligence and maturity go. And she respects that and sees the value in it. She appreciates that I’ve done the work on myself and because of that, she knows that I will accomplish my goals. She wanted me, supported me, and believed in me when I had nothing. 

5. She has control over her emotions and because of this, is not a liability that I have to worry about in any way (in regard to having a lack of tact around people I care about). She is predictable where it matters (integrity, honesty, loyalty, character, etc.) and unpredictable where it’s fun (use your imagination).

6. She isn’t emotionally or physically abusive and doesn’t get off to drama.

7. Whether she’s with me or out with friends, everything she does says “I respect myself and I respect the man I am with.” She conducts herself respectfully on social media and isn’t thirsty for attention.

8. She doesn’t play games but she always provides a mental challenge. I’m never bored. She’s comfortable in her own skin and can take my compliments instead of talking me out of them.

9. She has her own life and because of that, has some grit to her. She isn’t cold, she’s just not afraid to take action.

10. She is completely loyal and gives her all but I know that she WILL leave if the trust and loyalty are not reciprocated. That’s basically the difference between wife material and doormat/booty call material.

Bottom line, everything will turn around when you turn inward. When you stop looking for someone to fix you, rescue you, be your rock, and see in you what can’t see in yourself. Remember, you have the ability to choose how you want to live your life, how healthy you want to be mentally, and how you want to be treated.

And to the right man, that’s wife material.

For those looking for doormat material… they can keep walking.

x Natasha

from: [url]https://natashaadamo.com/wife-material/[/url]

Looks, personality, money, degrees, chivalry… these are things that you can’t grow old with. Integrity, character, and emotional availability are immune to the stamp of time. And as you get older, when all of the stuff that you are currently overvaluing has changed and faded…

You’re going to want to be with your best friend.

It’s amazing how attractive someone can become when you give them a chance and get to know them. When you realize that you have a choice to choose a man who is good for you instead of the one who triggers you into a performing circus animal.

How to know if he’s husband material

• He allows you to be yourself.
• You don’t feel like you’re at any risk for him recoiling, ghosting, or judging you when you open up to him.
• He can stand on both emotional, empathetic, financial, and professional feet. He doesn’t need you to be his training wheels.
• He is supportive of your success – not envious, bitter, and covertly competitive.
• Just like your happiness is his, so is your heartbreak.
• He has the same (if not, a better) definition of love, success, monogamy, commitment, communication, and honesty that you do.
• He wants a relationship – not a transaction.
• He doesn’t need to rely on bribery, trickery, tactics or giving mixed signals to get attention.
• He doesn’t equate loving you with dishonoring you.
• He doesn’t equate desiring you with being at a risk for losing you.
• His behavior does not validate that of anyone who has ever hurt you in the past.
• He considers both of you when making decisions – big and small.
• You share a common moral code/values.
• BEFORE you are in a committed, monogamous relationship with him, he respects you just as much and communicates just as clearly.
• He treats animals, children, and the elderly well (without an audience).
• He’s trustworthy.
• He’s not possessive and doesn’t get off to inciting jealousy or drama.
• He doesn’t get a sense of validation by exploiting your need for his.
• He’s confident, not cocky.
• He’s more private than grandiose.
• He’s responsive, not reactionary.
• He doesn’t gossip.
• He’s not social media obsessed.
• His patterns (which are made up of his consistent actions) show how appreciative he is of you.
• He’s not ambiguous. He’s ambitious – emotionally, relationally, and professionally.
• He understands that he’s not always in control.
• He does not have crumbs to throw – only loaves to give.
• You’re not worried about what the status of your relationship is.
• There no anxiety about what he’s doing when he’s not with you.
• Stress-induced nausea associated with dating emotionally unavailable and narcissistic guys isn’t there.
• There’s no age gap when it comes to emotional and empathetic age between you two.
• He doesn’t go around telling everyone how good of a guy he is. He just is.
• He actually wants to be a husband; he wants to get married.

YOU also need to be wife material (my writing is for all genders and orientations so please, sub where you need to here).

We attract what we exude. You can’t expect any of the above things and not be bringing it to the table as well.

I read something once that basically said you don’t become all of the above when you meet the right person. You become all of the above and because of that, you meet the right person.

Don’t fool yourself into thinking that just because you’ve been burned in toxic relationships and are single, you can’t get a good man. It means that you have standards and are selective. Having high standards is a lonely place to be, but it translates to the world that you value your opinion over the opinions of others. It means that you have made the choice to not take the same bullsh*t that you used to take in what never should have been called “a relationship” in the first place. It means that you no longer need attention and validation like you do oxygen. You validate yourself. 

You are complete. And when you give a chance to a guy that you never usually would… over time, you’ll see that he is just as complete as you are.

同一作者。看看先生材料对大多数男生是否容易。

回复 25楼teddy_2021的帖子

为啥 husband material的单子要长这么多

trudily 发表于 2021-03-05 18:17

因为这个作者是女的。

所以她对男的要求比较高。。。。

幸运，性福，幸福。

应该是你看不到而已。不少人被拒绝还是很depressed 的。