To be nice or not, that is the question-第1页

turningleaf

0操作1 ^#

以下是引用understandme在2006-5-23 13:19:00的发言：

We all know that one needs to be nice but not too nice. Yet the challenges are how to make your judgement what is being nice but not too nice, how not to be too nice but also not offend someone else. There's a lot of sublties in it. And all have to learn from one's own experiences and some thinking, analyzing of own's behavior, then learning from it to grow stronger and more politically fluent.

right. another point is you can't be forever-nice. it is quite necessary to be tough under certain circumstances. you can not please everyone on every single tiny thing. people have limited time and energy, it's important to have the big picture and know your priorities.

well I can't say I'm perfect with that although I know all the rules. that's why I say NTJ (or just TJ type) person would naturally become a better player in corporates, ...maybe even in daily life. F type people tend to be more warm-hearted than cool-headed, P type people tend to put off desicions, --both are not very attractive traits in a fast-paced and competitive working environment. well I think maybe I'm already a half(as my test result indicates) or more than half NTJ in work. otherwise I wouldn't have survived.

turningleaf

0操作2 ^#

以下是引用coffeelatte在2006-5-23 13:22:00的发言：

hehe i just couldn't help wondering. if such books are specificlly designed for us who seem to be born as "good" girls. those "bad" girls don't even take the trouble reading such books, they already know all the tricks, or not tricks, but it's in their blood already.

I don't think anyone is "born bad". hehe, well sure you know that too.

It's just the environment people growing up, especially when they are little, shaped up their basic characters...

turningleaf

0操作3 ^#

以下是引用as_still_water在2006-5-23 14:37:00的发言：

以下是引用understandme在2006-5-23 13:19:00的发言：

We all know that one needs to be nice but not too nice. Yet the challenges are how to make your judgement what is being nice but not too nice, how not to be too nice but also not offend someone else. There's a lot of sublties in it. And all have to learn from one's own experiences and some thinking, analyzing of own's behavior, then learning from it to grow stronger and more politically fluent.

I agree with you that one can learn from his/her own failures or mistakes, but it is definitely NOT the ONLY way to learn.

I only live once so I don't have that much time to experience ALL kinds of failure and pain. It's a great learning experience too by just looking at how other people did wrong and what's the better solution for these scenarios.

I agree that we must learn some basic rules and follow them. but beyond that, to change or not to change, that is the real question.

It's all about tradeoff. for example, as we discussed before, a sensitive system wouldn't be too robust, vice versa.

we need to try to "fit" into a position, at the same time, I'm trying to find sth that "fits" me better...

turningleaf

0操作4 ^#

以下是引用iwill在2006-5-24 7:15:00的发言：

Great post! Thanks.

I feel that the way I stay nice but not too nice is to be very OPEN. In most of the situations above, I will try to say the truth even if it may hurt some colleague's feeling. I always feel that it's better for long run to gentally let a friend know her/his problem instead of fixing the problem for her/him. It may take a lot of time to communicate and wait, or even sometimes it hurts the relationship, but after a while, people will know your good intention.

hehe, same here! :)

I've been promoting open communication on this board as well :)

turningleaf

0操作5 ^#

以下是引用夏末在2006-5-24 15:40:00的发言：

Sometimes the Americans always said "u r great""it's nice""excellent" to you...

u will never ever know what's ur problem....

The praise, appreciation and encouragement contributed their culture. When I first heard that, I even felt... a little conceited...but, later I got to know that "u r great" means "it's OK" [em07]

I haven't been working in US. Just discuss this situation in the university.

huaren mms in general, have adapted to this American culture quite well :P

turningleaf

0操作6 ^#

卡耐基那本我看过。

我记得我某一个老板的行为，明显是从那里面学来地，嘿嘿。。。

turningleaf

0操作7 ^#

以下是引用as_still_water在2006-5-25 14:29:00的发言：

以下是引用turningleaf在2006-5-25 13:59:00的发言：

卡耐基那本我看过。

我记得我某一个老板的行为，明显是从那里面学来地，嘿嘿。。。

这个....汗哪. [em14]

最怕的就是这个. 近来不断感觉到周围的几个同事是看了career development的书或是上了课的,因为他们的所作所为都带着非常明显的人工造作的痕迹.

比如说,开会, 老板哒哒哒哒讲完了, any question? [corporate nod....] no question? then next topic....这时候, 说时迟,那时快,那几个人当中的一个一定会跳出来说, uh....I have a question.... 因为那些课里书里都教了一定要提问,一定要在会上表现出自己有想法什么的. 可他们提的那些想法呢,实在是毫无价值,纯粹是没话找话.

没有内涵的形式,还不如什么都没有.

是啊，我就是这个意思。：）