当我们说性重要时,不是把性拿来和人生的终极意义或者别的有意义的事情作比较。也不是把性能力拿来和赚钱能力,人品拿来对比。
在我看来性代表的不仅仅是两个生殖器官发生接触,而是一个滋生desire,维持desire的一种艺术。性很容易,make love却不是那么容易,保持长期稳定关系里的激情和欲望更是不容易。
如果我们自身在婚姻或long term relationship里,应该重视,尽自己的能力避免把夫妻过程室友和亲人。
我引用esther perel的一段话:“Love enjoys knowing everything about you; desire needs mystery. Love likes to shrink the distance that exists between me and you, while desire is energized by it. If intimacy grows through repetition and familiarity, eroticism is numbed by repetition. It thrives on the mysterious, the novel, and the unexpected. Love is about having; desire is about wanting. An expression of longing, desire requires ongoing elusiveness. It is less concerned with where it has already been than passionate about where it can still go. But too often, as couples settle into the comforts of love, they cease to fan the flame of desire. They forget that fire needs air.”
我觉得这个版块聊的性,准确的说是 art of love-making。
xinchina 发表于 2021-01-09 13:29
保持对生活的激情和对美好的向往也是不容易。
既然有那么多人喜欢更高雅些的, 不妨说 这是保持对生活的激情的艺术。也不为过!