I came here for master degree right after college in china and finished the 2-year program couple of years ago. For our field, it does not make much sense to do PhD, kinda like accounting. After about 3 months of job-hunting, I landed my 1st job in a tiny firm but a big mid-west city. The offer was a little low. I guess there were several reasons I took that offer

1st, market was not good in that year. For a former year, people can get 3-4 offers w/ only about 40 resumes sending. But for my year, it is about 1-2/100.

2nd, I was not experienced enough to tell what is a good offer and what is not. I did not pay attention to the firm size, what projects they were working on, neither the employees.

3rd, I was not tired of hearing my parents talking about this issue on the phone. I know they worried about me, but a little too much pressure.

Anyway, I started working. The beginning was not too bad and I was busy on a fast-paste project through which I learned a lot and I changed to h1b also started my green card application. In about 9months, this project was towards the close-out phase and the market kept going down and down. Several on-board projects were pended for funding issues and of course it was hard to get in new projects. There started layoff. Well, I talked w/ my boss that he could not lay me off since I have statues issue and I offered to do whatever I can do, like in-house document keeping. He was nice to me so I stayed there. I was so stupidly happy w/ the result. The firm kept shrinking till only 3 persons. I did lots of secretarial things. At one point I got loaned to another big firm which is a good opportunity for me to move. They asked me to stay. But ... The damn green card issue came out. I got my labor and I was waiting for 140, I saw my friend got hers approved which was submitted only 3 months earlier than me. So I decided to wait. I told the big firm that I cannot join them blablabla. I went back to my old firm for junky tiny projects. Terrible, finally my 140 got refused since my firm was in bad performance in the consecutive 3 years. I spend a lot of money / time but gained nothing. I left that city and I stayed in another small firm for about 6 months before I landed this job now. The firm can support green card application in a year. I am not 100% happy w/ this firm now even it is a big firm, it won't have the same problem as the former one, but I am just so unsure about the future. I only got 2 years left till when I can start apply GC.  I used to be an aggressive person, but I am getting more and more unconfident on myself. The other thing is I am so eager to get jealous. I cannot help thinking how unlucky I was and feel bad. How should I get out of this situation?

cmf mm,

从mm的文字中看得出是很好强的，我相信你一切都会好起来。对自己有信心，积极努力的去做。2年时间可以有很多机会，勇敢积极的面对一切

我前段时间也比较低落，周末看看了“做最好的自己”，觉得有些帮助。希望对你也能有用。

祝你好运！

cft mm

身份绿卡总是一个大问题

mm加油努力吧，一切都会好起来的

thanks for comforting me. btw, what is that?

离开复写的，里面很多立志的话。有些内容还是有用的，包括态度，勇气之类。我觉得对心态有些帮助

关于他对ms和google的那几章，我个人认为有点吹牛的成风。书的内容也很少，一两个小时就可以看完了

我是在新浪读书找到的 http://book.sina.com.cn/

以下是引用azureling在2006-8-22 15:12:00的发言：

cft mm

身份绿卡总是一个大问题

mm加油努力吧，一切都会好起来的

Thanks

I kept thinking I did something wrong. I should immediately start looking for new jobs when layoff started. I got plenty time to do it. I guess I was just so eager to get that GC and I heard many successful cases with similar situations so I assumed I will be fine. Everyone around me thinks green card is a big issue, a lot bigger than struggling a while in a not-satisfying firm. That was a bet with a huge risk and a nightmare to me now.

I am so admired to many jms here that they can keep fighting for what they want even after they failed. they never look back, they are always confident and enthusiastic. It is also the reason I am posting my story here. I think the way I read my past might be wrong, not healthy at least. How should I cheer up and get my fighting attitude back? How should I escape from the nightmare trap? How should I be one of the charming working-ladys here?

Hope my case is helpful to some people too.

gc and visa are big issues to mostly ppl here. Sometimes, we need to compromise on one to another. But this doesnot mean that we are unlucky or wrong. It's life, right?

Something happen, and they made us mature and grow. I am sure you will be allright. I say that is not to comfort you, because not only i see confidence and courage in your words, also the spirit that is most valuable.

只有更倒霉，没有最倒霉。。

至少你一毕业就找到工作了。好多人还在挣扎呢。

是有人很快拿到绿卡。但是那样的也有这种那种的烦心事呢。

所以想开点。

To tell the truth, I was never jealous of my friend or whoever before so my high school teacher thought I never compared with classmates and I do not care about my performance(at that point, the grades are the only thing you can get jealoused of, right?)

but now, when I heard some good news from friends, I know I should be happy for them, but I cannot do it. I just feel so jealous and try to pick their mistakes or what they lose to balance my feeling. that is so scary. I do not like being this.

I think I read some threads on this board that some people grow better and better through their failure but some people are reversed. It is just like me.  

i think a lot of things are just a matter of time. it does not make much difference as long as you do not waste time & keep trying.

like, directly come abroad for degree vs. work a while in china / get married in early 20s vs. in mid of 30s / start with a high-paid job vs. grow little by little / have baby right after marriage vs. wait a couple of years... etc. as long as you keep trying, you will get there and each way has pros and cons. right?

[此贴子已经被作者于2006-8-23 18:49:09编辑过]